i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
