she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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