"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
