Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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