I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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