I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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