Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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