Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
