and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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