i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
