i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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