2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
