wanna go halves on a baby?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
