never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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