Ambien. No doubt about it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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