Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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