saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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