Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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