I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
