Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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