The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
