we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
