I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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