thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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