I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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