My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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