we're blogging at a bar
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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