I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
