I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
