hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
3 2 1 whiskey
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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