Christians are straight up FREAKS
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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