You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
