He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
