the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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