You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
