last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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