You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
