you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
please don't ironically join a cult
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