For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
