you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
