Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
