I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
