____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
