I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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