I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
