mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
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I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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