Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
