the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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