My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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