lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
