No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
