you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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