i think my tv is drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
