i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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