It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i dont even know how to be here
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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