You smell like stripper and shame
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
