How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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