she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
