whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
