just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
