omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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