You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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