She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Vodka?
Forever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
