he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
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Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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