I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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