Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
