1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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